This questions has been the topic of many discussions in my life time, and while I do think the answer is “Yes”, I do agree that it is reasonable for someone to think “No”.
The biggest reason people think men and women can’t be just friends is because feelings often get involved. If the two people aren’t attracted to each other, it isn’t even an issue. But I think what people imply when they ask the question is that the guy and/or girl are physically and/or mentally attracted to each other. Thats were problems may or may not occur.
They do say a good relationship starts as a good friendship, so it would be advantageous for opposite sex friendships to exist. But not only the best relationships, but sometimes, worst enemies start of as friends. Things get misinterpreted, overreactions occur, misunderstandings start, and things spiral downward to where your bestfriend becomes someone you don’t talk to for years. They become someone you talk to everyday for months, and then fake like you don’t see each other when you are in the same area.
I have a lot a female friends, and I have 3 who are my best friends. I would be lying if I said I was not physically or mentally attracted to them (one is a lesbian so there ain’t gone be nuthin crackin there anyway). But I think we all value each other’s friendships to take it to the next level. I do have to make sure I watch myself because when flirtin happens, temptation follows, and in certain situations, I have wanted to act on it. But the fact I have willpower, and the man in my pants doesn’t control me, our friendships have grown into somethin that I will cherish forever.
Having an opposite sex friend is also just comforting. I’m not going to lie, I love the company of women. Sometimes you just simply wanna be around the opposite sex. But I def enjoy the time wit the guys, cuz being with a group of girls can be problematic sometimes. People might think you’re gay, people might think that you are dating when you are just friends, they wanna watch a movie when you wanna go play basketball, they make comments on how sexy a guy on TV looks or have girltalk that you cant include yourself in, etc. Alotta things arise, but they are minor.
And also, as a good black men, its very hard to find a woman. You either get cast off as soft, havin no swag (missed me wit that), and get “friend zoned” with the quickness. So having a female friend fills some of that space. I think thats true for both guys and girls tho. We all need someone in our corner so stop lyin to yourself. (#JayZVoice: “Get ya independent ass outta here, Question?” We all yearn for affection, personal connections, all that good stuff.
So I think opposite sex friendships can work. You just have to be strong if there is any type of feelings or lust involved. I think they are very healthy. Women need a man to give them a male’s perspective, just as men need a woman to give them a female’s perspective. It helps to clear up misconceptions, and helps us comprehend each other. Being open with someone from the opposite sex allows you to learn about them and yourself.
But be honest with yourself. If you want it to move into something more, maybe you shouldn’t get into a tight friendship if the other person doesn’t feel that way. Or maybe you should pursue it. Take a chance. I pray that my future wife is my friend first, so one day, I know I will have to take that chance. I’m only afraid of a few things in life, and this is definitely nowhere near one of them.
But whether or not it fails or succeeds, that’s all on you. It’s on you to take personal responsibility to have willpower, if you are attracted to the person who may not be attracted to you. Your friendship is more important. But if they do, you hit the jackpot. You get the buddy, and the booty (figuratively………..or literally)
We Out Here,